Musings on Love

I have always believed that love is an art of letting go. It's knowing that you're hurting, when your breath is hitching in your chest, your stomach has a permanent knot in it and your heart is weighing you down and beating erratically, completely out of sync with the rest of your body but you still choose to let go of everything with grace. One has to understand the difference between attachment and love; two terms that are quite different but are often confused. Love should be about caring for the other persons happiness and putting their wants before ones own. It is about wishing that the other person gets in life what he/she wants, what makes them happy and what brings them fulfillment; knowing in your heart that it might mean that you may never come in the picture. It's not about bringing your own ego or your wants on the table. 

The thing is that we have no control over someones feelings; just like we can't control ours. And we can choose to overflow the other persons cup with love, care, respect and all that we can afford to give but it might never be enough for them because they don't value what you're giving or feel the same way towards you. Humans are wired weirdly that way. One person may give us everything and it wont matter to us as much as a single smile from a person that we care about. Love isn't supposed to be selfish. If our love depends on our expectations being met or comes with the entitlement of reciprocity from the other person, then we need to stand back and evaluate what we're feeling. Don't get me wrong, committing to a person and sharing a relationship does come with its fair share of expectations and responsibilities, just like any agreement in life does, but love by it self does not carry such expectations. 

The truth, however is that even if you know this in your heart, it still takes enormous amounts of effort and strength to stand back and convince your heart to let go. It takes effort to love with no expectations in return, apart from the hope that he/she gets the most beautiful things in life. It sucks the life out of your soul, which takes quite a beating but it is the right way to go.